POSTPARTUM SUPPORT
Birthing children is a monumental rite of passage, and it can be really hard. Then you're expected to know just how to feed, love, and comfort them. And yourself. And perhaps your partner. And hopefully, also your own dreams, vitality, and joy. That's a really tall order. I can help.
This work is centered around helping you cultivate tenderness, support, and a wee bit of space during what can be a really daunting, tiring time.
birth experience processing & birth story medicine
defining & integrating your new parent role
reclaiming your whole identity
If you'd like to see if working together feels like a good fit, schedule a free phone consultation here—I'd love to chat with you!
And you can hear more (lots more!) about my quest for more self-compassion in motherhood on the Fourth Trimester podcast:
How are you, Really?
Some new parents fall into the "A-Okay" camp, while others struggle with loss, or serious mental health concerns like postpartum depression or anxiety. For those of us somewhere in the middle—who aren’t feeling our best by a long shot, but who can say “fine” in response to a “How are you?” without it feeling like a total lie; who are, as they say, "functioning" in the midst of this gargantuan emotional and physical breaking-open—what do we do?
Especially if you feel like you're getting the hang of it in general, but you're still struggling with a particular piece of the motherhood experience—maybe you're working through a difficult birth/recovery process, or wondering about how to be(come) the type of parent you really want to be, or feeling the pull to move into other life roles & wanting to make space for that—these rubber-meets-the-road questions about Mom-ing (+ how to be kind to yourself as you explore them!) are the focus of my work.
If you’re not sure exactly where you might fit into all of this, but you know you want some support, please feel free to schedule a phone consultation and we can figure it out together. And if it turns out that working with another professional would be a better fit, I’m always happy to make referrals (because, it's true, this whole parenting thing really does take a village.)
birth story medicine
I offer safe and transformative space for birthing parents of all kinds to process, investigate, and hopefully better integrate their birth experiences. Birth Story Medicine is typically a one-session intensive (learn more here), and when follow ups/ongoing work is necessary that’s always a possibility as well.
“Initiation involves a kind of psychic death and rebirth. What ‘dies’ is niaveté, habits, plans, fears, or deeply held assumptions…What dies is never something you choose or plan to let go of. It is done for you; circumstances shake loose or take from you what is no longer needed or true. This kind of death creates uncertainty, an opening into not-knowing, and ultimately a metamorphosis. The heroic task in this sacred void…is the continuous challenging of your beliefs about birth, mothering, and self.” — Pam England
integrating your new role
Most people go through a serious period of adjustment as they step into parenthood. The phrase "on the job training" comes to mind. (See also: "trial by fire", "sleep walking", and perhaps the absolute most bedrock version of "faking it till you make it"). The first step toward integrating this new role, is acknowledging its newness and hugeness in your life. Because you and your partner or fellow caretakers are probably each adjusting to all of this, it can be super helpful to find someone outside of the family system to reflect with.
As a mama myself, I have a deep commitment to supporting folks on their journey to fully step into parenthood, baby love, and sustained self-connection. This is new. You are not supposed to just magically know exactly how to do it. Even if this is not your first child, this is your first this child. For the most part, what they need is so much simpler than the mommy fear-mongerers would have us believe, and you may be needing a whole lot more.
reclaiming your whole identity
You are a parent. You are forever changed. And you also get to be yourself. You get to be not-so-changed. You can expand to accommodate this new love, rather than contracting around it. You have interests and passions and relationships (and sovereignty and identity) beyond your role as a parent. You get to play all sorts of roles in your life, as you always have. This is not about your own personal reenactment of Bad Moms (though I'm not judging!)—it is about something way, way bigger: it is about your right to dimensionality and self care.
What was important to you before? What is still important now? What feels newly important? What fills you up in such a way that you can more fully show up in your life, and within your family?
These are the types of questions we can explore. Let's go!